Friday, 20 May 2011

Long Term Relationships.

I'm no relationship expert. In fact, I've only ever been in two relationships; one lasted for 5 months; the other I'm still in. You may say I've had both good and bad experiences in both relationships, but haven't we all? I've never been one to tell people what to do, but I do love a bit of advice. And so in this post, I thought I'd share my tips on how to survive (lol!)

Just a little background information for you all. I've been with Aiden since 27th September 2008, which works out to over 2 and a half years. All this time, he has lived in Fareham, Hampshire, and I've lived in London. We also met online. Most people regularly dismiss long distance relationships and online relationships, but we are living proof that some do actually work out. Yes, it causes problems, and I sometimes get so jealous and even angry at people who don't take advantage of the fact their boyfriend lives around the corner. But then, I'm also happy, as there are some benefits to him living 60ish miles away (hello personal space).

When in long term relationships, close or far, it can be difficult to stay happy, and keep the "spark". I hope that my little bits of advice will help those of you who have, or may in future, fallen into a rut.

001. Remember the small things.

It sounds so simple, and a majority of the time you may think you are making an effort when in reality you're not. We sometimes forget how great the small things are. Whether it's running them a bath after knowing they've had a stressful day at work, or simply telling them you love them. They will be grateful and should ultimately do the same. (I'm not sure my blog interests Aiden but he asks about it all the same, and I appreciate it.)

002. Make an effort.

Just because your boyfriend has seen you at your worse, doesn't mean that is all he should see. Sometimes it's easy to get a little too comfy and not worry about how you look. Yes, this is a good thing, and they obviously love you no matter what, but men don't really fancy unshaven legs and unbrushed hair. It doesn't mean look glamourous 24/7 (who doesn't love lazy days?!), but a little effort goes a long way. And plus, you'll feel a bit better and happier too. :)

003. Take an interest.

No matter what it is, if it means something to them, it should mean something to you. You are quite frankly a team, and although you have seperate interests, you should still be interested in what they do Whether it's lion taming or just playing xbox, if you're interested, he'll be grateful. An example for me in this case is my blog. Aiden has no clue why I need so much make up, yet he will still point out nail polishes he knows I want, and it puts the biggest smile on my face because I know he's taken an interest.

004. Don't be afraid to argue.

This sounds silly, right? But it's true. I spent part of my relationship trying to not argue about anything, and found myself agreeing just to not argue, which ended up making us both unhappy. If you disagree, say it. If you're unhappy, say it. And if you do argue, it obviously means you both care too much. The only thing is, deal with arguments in the right way, and say sorry when it's your fault.

005. Keep things private.

Don't argue on Facebook. Don't tell their embarrasing stories to your friends. Don't tell other people things he's confided in you. Men like to appear like men, let them have that.

006. Give compliments.

After being with someone for so long, you sometimes forget what made you love them in the first place. Yes, he may pick his nose, grind his teeth and leave things untidy (purposely avoided Aiden's bad habits ;) haha) but he also makes you laugh until you cry, gives the best hugs, and more importantly, he puts up with your bad habits too. Remind him, and yourself, why you love him.


I think the most important thing is to remember to laugh, and not get too caught up in other things. As your relationship progresses you'll come across a lot of grown up things, like living together, money etc. but it doesn't mean you can't escape it all and have fun.

I'm sure some of you may disagree with some or all of my advice, but this is just what I think, so I ask you - What advice would you give?

*all images were found on


  1. Fab advice! :) I'm completely in love with your blog at the moment! Keep the amazing posts coming hun! <3 x x

  2. I completely agree about long distance relationships being able to work out. Although I'm young, I've been with my boyfriend for two years and we live 250 miles apart. They are definitely difficult, but can be so worth the effort it takes to stay close!
    Bel' xx

  3. I agree with everything you have said :) I've been with my boyfriend for almost 5 years and we have stayed strong because of all those key points you have mentioned.


  4. Totally agree with all that you have said, great advice. Me and my husband follow these still after been together nine years and married one year on Wednesday. I think its important for them to hear you say I love you, they may know you do but it's always nice to hear it, and lots of cuddles :-) xx

  5. This is such a nice post!
    I've been in a long term relationship for a year and a half now and i agree with everyting you've said!
    I hope your relationship keeps going for the future!

  6. Aww great post! You really are living proof that online relationships/friendships work! x

  7. This is such a good post :) Me and my guy met online January 2008, and we are still going strong. Sure we argue, but don't all couples, we actually moved in together after 10months. I think these tips are great :) xxx

  8. Great advice! I can't stand it when people argue in public, it's not something you want to broadcast and it's just embarrasing!

  9. I love this post! I agree with all of those tips, all the little things can make or break relationships x

  10. This is lovely :) me and my boyfriend used to pretty much live together but I moved up to London and it's been really tricky having such a drastic change in our relationship. I really liked reading your tips xo


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